Fun Times with Kikoku
by Shuichi Akai
Summary: A collection of various shorts about Law's cursed sword, Kikoku, manifesting.
1. Captain's Appetite

**Fun Times with Kikoku**

 **Title:** Fun Times with Kikoku  
 **Rating:** T  
 **Fandom:** One Piece  
 **Summary:** A collection of various shorts about Law's cursed sword, Kikoku, manifesting  
 **Genre(s):** Humor/Friendship

* * *

 **Captain's Appetite**

"Good morning Captain!" Penguin greeted. "We have your breakfast at the table already,"

Law took a seat at the head of the table. In front of him was a plate of onigiri and fried fish. He quickly scarfed them all down. "More,"

This caught the crew's attention. "Huh?"

"I'm starving here! Get me more!" Law snapped.

The three Heart Pirates looked to each other but headed back to the kitchen. "That's weird, Captain hardly eats if we don't remind him," Penguin said. "But now he wants to eat a lot,"

"Maybe now Captain's going to start eating more from now on?" Shachi said. "He might need more energy for when he fights a strong enemy,"

"Where's my food?" Law called from the dining room.

The Heart Pirates quickly finished making more onigiri and fried fish quickly. Law snatched it from them and ate it as fast as the first time. "While they cook, make me some sandwiches or something. I'll die from starvation!"

The Heart Pirates retreated to the kitchen. "Okay, something is seriously wrong with Captain," Shachi said. "Captain hates bread!"

"What if it's a person with a Devil Fruit that disguises them?" Penguin asked.

"Captain smells weird today," Bepo added. "He smells like metal with faint traces of blood. But he also has some of Captain's scent with him,"

"Doesn't he also look younger too?" Shachi noted. "And he has no shadows under his eyes,"

"Food!" They heard Law shout.

The voice snapped them out of their conversation and they went back to cooking and made sandwiches. They went back to the dining room. However, the sight confused them. "Why are there two Captain's!?"

The first Law was the one that had been eating and ordering more food. The second Law was half-awake and was sipping some coffee. "That one," Bepo pointed to the second Law. "He smells exactly like Captain,"

"Then who's that impostor!?" They pointed accusingly at the first Law.

"Impostor?" The first Law grabbed the sandwiches from them. "I never said I was Master,"

"Master!?"

The second Law finished his coffee. "Penguin, Shachi, Bepo," He addressed. "This is Kikoku,"

"Kikoku?" Bepo asked. "Captain, isn't Kikoku the name of your cursed sword?"

"Kikoku manifested into a human form," Law explained.

"Master, eat something!" Kikoku held a sandwich to him.

"You know I don't like bread," Law declined.

"More for me!" Kikoku began to chow down.

"Captain, Kikoku has been eating like he has a hundred stomachs!" Shachi whined.

"I'll starve if I don't a lot!" Kikoku snapped.

"Kikoku," Law reminded. "We've been over this. Cursed swords don't need to eat. You can't starve,"

" _Oh,_ " Kikoku said. "Now I remember. Shachi, Bepo, Penguin, cancel my order,"

"We're not some kind of restaurant!" They snapped. "You already ate half of our food supply!"

* * *

 **Yo, what's up? This is a new series called Fun Times with Kikoku. Basically it is a bunch of shorts with a manifested Kikoku. He might act differently in the other shorts, depending on the situation. If you have an idea, suggest it in the reviews. This is basically a crack-fic.  
**


	2. Master's Heart

**Fun Times with Kikoku**

 **Title:** Fun Times with Kikoku  
 **Rating:** T  
 **Fandom:** One Piece  
 **Summary:** A collection of various shorts about Law's cursed sword, Kikoku, manifesting.  
 **Genre(s):** Humor/Adventure  
 **Timeline:** Punk Hazard Arc

* * *

 **Master's Heart**

Tashigi, Smoker, Law, Robin, Franky, and Luffy were trapped in the cage. Caesar, Monet, and Vergo stood in front of them. Vergo held Law's sword. Suddenly, the nodachi began to glow, forcing Vergo to let go of it. The nodachi shifted to human form. "Geez Master, you're dumb,"

"Kikoku!" Law exclaimed.

"I mean seriously, you're really stupid," Kikoku insulted his wielder.

"What did you call me?" Law asked.

"Why the hell would you give your heart to Caesar if you plan on betraying him?" Kikoku pointed out. "That's just plain dumb. Master's dumb,"

"I am not dumb!" Law snapped. "Just get us out of this cage!"

"Let me think about it," Kikoku paused, putting a finger to his chin. "Monet-san, do you have any food?"

"I can get some cookies," Monet offered.

"Sorry Master," Kikoku told Law. "I want cookies more than I want to save you,"

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!?"

"You're the one who didn't feed me ever since we left the crew!" Kikoku claimed. "I'm starving!"

"CURSED SWORDS CAN'T STARVE! THEY DON'T NEED TO EAT!"

"You're not a cursed sword," Kikoku remarked. "You don't have a say. About those cookies?"

XXX

"You're really strong, Vergo-san," Kikoku told the spy.

"Thank you," Vergo said, sipping his tea.

"I don't understand why Master left the Donquixote Pirates," Kikoku continued. "You alone could defeat him!"

"Because he has my heart!" Law shouted from the cage.

"Is this some kind of tragic one-sided love story?" Kikoku asked, despite knowing the real meaning.

"KIKOKU!" Law blushed from embarrassment. "He literally has my physical heart!"

"Master, we know you are in love with Vergo-san," Kikoku teased. "Stop shouting it out,"

"I DO NOT LOVE HIM!" Law became a deeper shade, like the color of Eustass Kid's hair.

"I can make money off of this love story," Kikoku took out a stack of papers and a pen. "Vergo X Law, a fanfiction by Kikoku!"

"KIKOKU!"

* * *

 **Hooray! This crack-fic was updated! Who here thinks I should actually create a fanfiction titled** _ **Vergo X Law, a fanfiction by Kikoku**_ **?  
Kikoku: Yes!  
Law: I do not love Vergo!  
Vergo: It's Vergo-san to you, brat! (Squeezes heart)  
Law: GAH!  
Kikoku: Ah, his heart his aching because he wants to be with Vergo-san but can't because they are enemies.  
Law: HE LITERALLY HAS MY HEART!**


	3. Kikoku's Fanfiction

**Fun Times with Kikoku  
**

 **Title:** Fun Times with Kikoku  
 **Rating:** T  
 **Fandom:** One Piece  
 **Summary:** A collection of various shorts about Law's cursed sword, Kikoku, manifesting.  
 **Genre(s):** Humor/Adventure  
 **Timeline:** Punk Hazard Arc  
 **A/N:** Sequel to Master's Heart

* * *

 **Kikoku's Fanfiction**

 _Trafalgar Law was trapped in a cell with Smokey, Tashigi, Mugiwara, Robo-guy, and Robin. Mugiwara was rambling on about how hungry he was and how much he wanted to eat meat. Robin was musing about something in Alabasta that Mugiwara, Smokey, and Tashigi were involved in. But Law was focused on one of his captors—_

"KIKOKU!" Law shouted. "Stop shipping me with Vergo!"

"Shush!" Kikoku snapped.

"Shilololo, I should set up a date between you and Vergo, Law," Caesar said.

"NO!"

 _Law's heart ached for Vergo. His chest hurt so much that he screamed in pain. I mean seriously, he screamed so loud as if he was dying._

"STOP READING YOUR STUPID STORY OUT LOUD!" Law yelled. "AND I AM DYING!"

 _He was dying alright. Dying from not being with the man he loved._

"I will seriously kill you," Law slammed his head against the cell bars.

"Your own sword turned against you," Tashigi commented. "That's just cruel,"

"I wanna die…" Law quietly sobbed.

 _He wanted to die if he wasn't allowed to be with Vergo. "What's the use of living if we can't be with the one we love?"_

Law continuously hit his head to the bars. "Why am I not falling unconscious!?"

 _He couldn't bear to look at his loved one in the eyes…Well, he actually can't since Vergo wears sunglasses. It was such a tragic love story._

"Vergo, why aren't you reacting about this?" Monet asked.

"It is meaningless so it isn't worth acknowledging," Vergo answered. "Law is stupid to acknowledge it,"

 _Deep inside, Vergo also wanted to be with Law but couldn't. They were on opposite sides. VerLaw is a tragic shipping that will end in a tragic way. Both will take their lives so they can spend the afterlife together._

"Not happening," Law said. "I will not kill myself,"

 _Law refused to kill himself. He wouldn't give up on Vergo._

"Kikoku, go to sword form," Law ordered.

"Make me," Kikoku mocked.

Law narrowed his eyes.

* * *

 **Here's a sequel to Master's Heart!  
I would do a Review Response but for some reason the new reviews won't pop up. My screen says I have four reviews but when I click it, only one shows up. Can someone PM me why this is happening? I tried it on my computer, phone, and iPod.  
Yes, there will be a third installment.**


	4. Doflamingo's Offer

**Fun Times with Kikoku**

 **Title:** Fun Times with Kikoku  
 **Rating:** T  
 **Fandom:** One Piece  
 **Summary:** A collection of various shorts about Law's cursed sword, Kikoku, manifesting.  
 **Genre(s):** Humor/Adventure  
 **Timeline:** Punk Hazard Arc  
 **A/N:** Sequel to Kikoku's Fanfiction

* * *

 **Doflamingo's Offer**

"Kikoku, go to sword form," Law ordered.

"Make me," Kikoku mocked.

Law narrowed his eyes. Before he could act, footsteps followed by an all too familiar laughter was heard. "Fufufu, there seems to be two Law's,"

"Joker, I didn't know you were coming!" Caesar said. "I would've made the place more presentable,"

"Joker? But he's Donquixote Doflamingo, one of the Shichibukai!" Tashigi exclaimed.

"So," Doflamingo asked, looking before Law and Kikoku. "Who's this guy?" He pointed at Kikoku.

Kikoku had stopped writing his fanfiction and was munching on some cookies. "I'm Kikoku! Monet-san makes yummy cookies!"

"Are you Law's younger brother?" Doflamingo questioned.

"Something like that," Kikoku sipped his glass of milk. "But he's an idiot!"

The comment amused Doflamingo. "How would you like to join my family?" Doflamingo offered. "You must be as strong as your brother, maybe even stronger,"

"Don't accept it, Kikoku!" Law shouted.

"Don't order me around," Kikoku snapped before turning to Doflamingo and saying in a serious tone. "Answer this important question. It will determine if I will consider your offer or not,"

"Ask away," Doflamingo said.

"Will. There. Be. Sweets."

Doflamingo blinked, his smile disappeared as he waited for Kikoku to continue as if he was joking. But Kikoku's poker face didn't falter. Doflamingo's grin returned. "Why of course,"

"Man! All this talk about food is making me hungry!" Luffy whined. "I want meat!"

"I accept your offer," Kikoku held out his hand. "But the minute you stop supplying me snacks will be when I quit,"

"Fufufu, deal," Doflamingo agreed.

"Kikoku you idiot!" Law shouted. "GAH!"

"No one insults the family," Vergo said.

Kikoku curiously picked up one of Caesar's syringes that was filled with a rainbow liquid. "Hmm," He suddenly appeared in front of Law and injected it into him.

"Ah! That was SPLIT!" Caesar exclaimed. "It divides a person into five!"

Where Law was standing were now five of them. One had black clothing. Another had red clothing. A third had pink clothing. A fourth had yellow clothing. And a fifth had purple clothing. The red one was glaring venomously at the sixth look alike. "KIKOKU!"

"Hey Torao's! You're out of the seastone chains!"

* * *

 **I can finally see the reviews again. I decided to stop the chapter here because the title of the next chapter will be called: Law's Personalities.  
Red: Anger  
Black: Vengeance/Death  
Pink: Happiness/Energetic  
Yellow: Laziness  
Purple: Intelligent  
Some might be changed depending on how the next chapter goes. Sorry for shortness!  
**


	5. Law's Personalities

**Fun Times with Kikoku**

 **Title:** Fun Times with Kikoku  
 **Rating:** T  
 **Fandom:** One Piece  
 **Summary:** A collection of various shorts about Law's cursed sword, Kikoku, manifesting.  
 **Genre(s):** Humor/Adventure  
 **Timeline:** Punk Hazard Arc  
 **A/N:** Sequel to Doflamingo's Offer

* * *

 **Law's Personalities**

 **Red: Anger/Aggressiveness  
Grey: Sadness  
Pink: Happiness/Energetic/Childishness  
Yellow: Laziness  
Purple: Intelligent/Matureness**

"Ah! That was SPLIT!" Caesar exclaimed. "It divides a person into five!"

Where Law was standing were now five of them. One had grey clothing. Another had red clothing. A third had pink clothing. A fourth had yellow clothing. And a fifth had purple clothing. The red one was glaring venomously at the sixth look alike. "KIKOKU!"

"Hey Torao's! You're out of your seastone chains!"

"Room!" A dome like Law's formed except instead of blue, it was red. "Shambles!" He appeared in front of Kikoku.

"Ah!" Kikoku jumped backwards. "Master, don't do that!"

Red cracked his knuckles. "Don't tell me what to do!" He fused his fists with Armament Haki and punched Kikoku, sending him flying across the room.

"My hypothesis is that Kikoku will have a 25% chance of survival," Purple said.

"I MISS CORA-SAN!" Grey sobbed into Purple's chest.

"There, there," Purple patted his back.

"Hi Doffy! Hi Doffy!" Pink was clinging to Doflamingo's back, hugging the pink feathered coat. "I want a feather coat! I want one! I want one!"

"Fufufu, only if you pledge allegiance to me," Doflamingo said.

"Okay! Okay! Okay!" Pink said. His voice was the highest pitched than the other Law's, though not as high as Pica's. In fact, it sorta sounded like he inhaled helium. "Wait, I want _your_ coat!"

"Sorry but no," Doflamingo refused. "You can get your own coat,"

"No! I want _yours_!" Pink argued.

"No means no," Doflamingo told him.

"In 3.156 seconds Pink Law is going to throw a tantrum," Purple said.

Pink began to tear up. "I want yours! I want yours!" He began rolling on the floor and began to pound on it.

"Vergo, should we do something?" Monet asked.

"Film them," Vergo answered, reaching into his pocket. "That's weird. Where's my camera I bought from Dressrosa?"

"You didn't buy a camera," Doflamingo reminded.

"That's right," Vergo said. "I didn't buy a camera,"

Yellow was still inside the cage. "Aren't you going to get out?" Tashigi asked.

"Nah," Yellow laid down similar to how Aokiji did when he first met the Straw Hats. "Too much work,"

Red was still trying to beat the crap out of Kikoku. "GET BACK HERE YOU STUPID SWORD!"

Pink was now trying to steal Doflamingo's coat and was failing miserably at it. Doflamingo wasn't even using his strings! "Gimme the coat!" Pink tugged at Doflamingo's sleeve. Pink was whacked on the head by Vergo. "Ow! Vergo that's mean!"

He received another hit. "It's Vergo- _san_ to you!"

"Fufufu, Pink's just a kid, Vergo," Doflamingo said. "No need to be harsh on this one,"

"Even if he acts like a kid, he still needs to show respect," Vergo responded.

"Pink, let's make a deal," Doflamingo said. "You can wear my coat until we get to Dressrosa. Then you'll give me back my coat and we'll get one made just for you,"

"Fine," Pink agreed. Doflamingo took off his coat and placed it on the smaller male. "Yay! I wear your granddad's clothes!"

"Is Pink _singing?_ " Smoker's cigars fell from his mouth.

"I look incredible!"

"This is _super_ funny," Franky commented.

"I'm in this big ass coat!"

"It's only big because you're small," Doflamingo said.

Robin had somehow gotten a Den-Den Mushi out and was filming Pink.

"From the thrift shop down the road!"

Doflamingo frowned. "It's not from a thrift shop. There aren't even any thrift shops down the road! What road!?"

"PINK!" Red roared, strangling Kikoku with one hand. "Did you betray us!?"

"He's siding with Cora-san's killer!" Grey cried.

"But I wanna wear Doffy's coat," Pink pouted.

"Just kill him and steal the coat!" Red shouted, releasing Kikoku and started to walk over to Doflamingo.

Vergo intervened. "You will leave Doffy alone, Red Law,"

"Get out of my way, Vergo!" Red growled.

Vergo hit Red with the Haki-infused bamboo stick. "It's Vergo- _san_!"

"Hey, what happened to Law's heart?" Monet asked. "Didn't Vergo have it?"

Vergo reached into his pocket to notice that the heart was gone. "Hmm? Where's Law's heart?"

"Shurororo," Caesar mused. "Law's heart(s) seemed to have returned to the bodies due to SPLIT,"

"Pink you traitor!" Red shouted.

"Doffy, Red's being a meanie!" Pink sniffled. "Can we leave and go to Dressrosa now?"

"Hold on tight," Doflamingo picked Pink up and headed for the exit. He then started to use his strings to cling onto the clouds.

"Caesar," Monet asked. "How long until they return to one Law?"

"Law was the first live test subject," Caesar answered, grinning. "Who knows?"

* * *

 **Skai: I'm gonna be honest with all of the readers. I completely forgot all about** ** _Fun Times with Kikoku._** **I was so engrossed with** ** _Donquixote Law_** **and** ** _Warlord Puppies_** **that forgot about this story.  
Kai: What do you have to say for yourself!  
Skai: I'm sorry?**


	6. Special: Vergo X Law

**Vergo X Law**

 **Title:** Vergo X Law  
 **Rating:** T  
 **Fandom:** One Piece  
 **Summary:** This is the official fanfiction that Kikoku wrote in _Fun Times with Kikoku_ Chapter 3.

* * *

Trafalgar Law was trapped in a cell with Smokey, Tashigi, Mugiwara, Robo-guy, and Robin. Mugiwara was rambling on about how hungry he was and how much he wanted to eat meat. Robin was musing about something in Alabasta that Mugiwara, Smokey, and Tashigi were involved in. But Law was focused on one of his captors, Vergo.

Law's heart ached for Vergo. His chest hurt so much that he screamed in pain. I mean seriously, he screamed so loud as if he was dying. Well, you could say he was dying alright. He was dying from not being with the man he loved. He wanted to die if he wasn't allowed to be with Vergo. _'What's the use of living if we can't be with the one we love?'_ Law thought to himself.

Law looked away from Vergo, a faint blush on his cheeks. He couldn't bear to look at his loved one in the eyes. Well, he actually couldn't look straight into Vergo's eyes since Vergo always wore sunglasses like Doflamingo. It was such a tragic love story.

 _'Does Vergo even love me back?'_ Law wanted to ask but didn't want to risk rejection. He was afraid of the older male's feelings not being the same.

Deep inside, Vergo also wanted to be with Law but couldn't. They were on opposite sides. VerLaw was a tragic shipping that would eventually end in a tragic way. _'Should I just take my life?'_ Both thought.

 _'No!'_ Law shook his head furiously. _"I refuse! I won't give up! At least not until Vergo knows my true feelings!'_

 _'I love Law,'_ Vergo told himself mentally. _'But my loyalty lies to the family and Law has betrayed the family. I am so conflicted. I want to save Law, I want to pull him out of the cage and hold him close. But he's a traitor and all traitors must be eliminated,'_ Vergo resisted the urge to stop Caesar from moving the cage outside, where the prisoners would be exposed to the toxic gas and petrified. _'I'm sorry Law…'_

Inside the cage, Law's hat covered his eyes. _'He doesn't love me. He's just going to let me die here,'_

"Torao, are you crying?" Luffy asked. "Don't worry Torao! I'll kick those people's asses! They'll pay for making my nakama cry!"

Vergo, Monet, and Caesar were watching the scene through the video Den-Den Mushi that had been set up. "Shurororo! Law's given up hope! I can't believe he's actually crying, especially since this is being broadcasted all over the underworld!"

 _'Caesar if you don't ****ing shut your mouth I'll tear your tongue out!'_ Vergo threatened. _'We only need you to make SMILE. You don't need to be able to talk for that,'_

"Vergo, are you alright?" Monet asked. "You seem tensed,"

"Bitch, are you trying to flirt with me? My heart only belongs to Law, you damn harpy!" Vergo accidentally said out loud.

Now all eyes were on Vergo. "Did you just say that you're in love with Law!?"

Vergo imbued his bamboo staff with Armament Haki. "Now you must die,"

"O-Oi! Joker needs me to make SMILE!" Caesar claimed.

"I'll just put the blame on Mugiwara," Vergo easily killed Caesar and Monet. He then pulled the lever which brought the cage back inside. Tearing the cage open, Vergo brought Law into an embrace and kissed him.

Everyone else stared with wide eyes. "What the ****!? Didn't he _just_ try to kill us!?"

Vergo joined the Heart Pirates and helped Law kill Doflamingo. Vergo and Law got married, had a bunch of Mini Vergo's and Mini Law's, and lived happily ever after.

The End.


End file.
